Living with a chronic illness or rare disease can cause all sorts of negative emotions, In the past I have hit rock bottom and as many of you will understand it isn't a great place to be. I took tiny steps to make improvements to my life to get myself back on the path I wanted to travel. I really had to think about what it was that made me smile, I also worked with a psychologist doing ACT. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) gets it name from one of its core messages: accept what is out of your personal control, and commit to action that improves and enriches your life.
At the time I was so poorly that I worked from 8am to 4pm and slept from 4pm to 6.30 pm, I stopped eating properly, exercising, visiting friends and family and looking after my home and 18 yr old daughter. I made tiny changes and looked for things that made me happy, however small they may have been to others. I became more mindful in everything I did, my usual drive to work was a stressful time where I worried how I would get through the day without needing to sleep in my lunch hour but once I resigned myself to dragging myself out of the rut I was in I started noticing all the beauty around me. Things I took for granted or never noticed started making me smile. Things like beautiful skies, clouds, the shapes or colours of trees and plants, the feel of a bubble bath, the taste of chocolate when savored etc.
I became a much more positive person as a result which really helped me 6 months ago when I found out that there was a chance I could have MS, I almost slipped back into negative thoughts but knew that I never wanted to go back to that horrible place again. I know have the definite MS diagnosis and it hasn't made a single difference to my symptoms or how I feel. I know that being positive won't get rid of symptoms or make you better but it can make a difference to how you live your life.
How do you all keep so positive and what makes you smile? Is there any tips you can give others to give them hope that things can and will improve with hard work and a positive attitude?
I've added a link to a song that makes me happy :)
I talk to God a lot, all the time. I tell him all my troubles and ask for help and ask that he give me what I need and what he wants for me. Then I listen and things happen out of nowhere. The answers come and I trust instead of worrying. It is a very freeing experience and allows me to see and appreciate all the small and large miracles that happen and allows me to see the beauty that is everywhere. Nature is very healing and so is the kindness that comes from others. This all makes me smile.
Advice? Well, be true to yourself. Remember when you were a child before you started to worry what everyone else thought. You can regain that attitude and be happy and smile and laugh again. If you think of something that you like, just do it, buy it, see it, eat it, smell it, etc. Sometimes it's the simplest things that can bring the most joy. I bought a small bunch of daffodils the other day and put them in water and they immediately started to bloom one by one. Now each time I walk past them I see them and just love them and smile. I even tell them how beautiful they are.
When negativity comes your way, ignore it since it doesn't deserve your attention anyway. I know that no matter what happens to me in my life, I will still have access to joy, since it can come to us in so many forms. It's like an adventure where you look around and find little treasures.
One other thing that I know lifts me out of a down mood is to figure out how to do something nice for someone else. It could be just a phone call or a card or an email, any gesture. God created us this way to help others and then feel great afterwards. Kind of nice that He did that. Life can be easy or hard depending on how you approach it.
We are all capable of so much more than we give ourselves credit for. Being ill for this many years has given me back my innocent childlike view of the world around me. I had lost that for awhile. I'm so glad it's back and I don't want to lose it again.
lauraflora, it is a good and much needed discussion for us all. Thanks for starting it because it is crucial for us to find joy in order to heal. We are not just physical bodies but more than that and our spirits need to be healthy and that is something that we have very much control of. I believe if the spirit and mind is right then the body healing will follow. This has been true for me.
Thanks for that Ally, that made me smile to hear what helps you. It's funny how we forget to be mindful about what is all around us as we grow up. Seeing the world through a childs eye is something we could all do more of, they see awe and wonder in the smallest things that as adults we take for granted.!
I have learnt to let some things which used to worry me go because worry and stress aren't productive in any way. I'd rather spend my time laughing and doing things that make me happy.!
Sitcoms. Old sitcoms. Maybe that's shallow but they're funny and they keep my mind off my pain and my life caused by Lyme. Also, I never remember seeing them before so they're new every time. Gotta love the lack of short-term memory. ;)
Laura! How are you my friend? I'm so glad to catch up to you again!
I LOVE THIS SONG! My grand kids are tickled that I know it and like it, but what's not to like? I've danced around with my little great grandson to this! Now I don't dance nearly as well as I once did, but I'm not bad for an old gal with arthritis! ha! I just move my arms more and my hips far less! You learn these tricks as you go!
So glad you pulled yourself out of that hole, I've done it a few times now!
My grand kids keep me going, the little ones always love to come, and right now are so excited for a long over due few good warm sunny days to be here and outside! We keep all the kid and adult kid gear in stock, so it's the place to be, especially in the spring and summer, and we like it that way! Oh yes, they wear me out, but it's the best kind of worn out in the world! Gets me out and about and moving, a gain a little more color and a few more freckles, and that's always cool!
Looks like a promising week of good weather is approaching, once this rain clears!
My husband just hooked up a stereo that I can hear outside when the windows are open, so I may just pick up this song to blast the neighbor with, see if I can make him happy! ha!
Great post, girlfriend! So good to hear you happy!
You always have such sage advice, girlfriend! I honestly think I have a Guru in Peoria!
Glad that you are still active here, good medical information is desperately needed and we are so fortunate to have you and our other nurses contribute so much! Especially here at Lyme, because it's oh so complicated!
Now there's a handle! Makes you smile and shake your head just to come across it! Not sure how old, old is, but I still like the old Dick Van Dyke/Mary Tyler Moore stuff! Like the old stand-ups too, David Brenner was a favorite of mine, rest his soul, but when he showed up on the Tonight show, you knew that between him and Carson, you were gonna ROLL!
Hi SK, great to see you here. I’m really surprised you remembered me from my fibro days. I stopped visiting or posting because was found out fibro was a mis dx and that in fact my symptoms were caused by MS. It’s great to have you here moderating too, I don’t know where you get the time tho with everything else you do.! I sometimes struggle with everything that I have to do.!
It’s fab to hear all the lovely things that make you happy and I completely agree that being fatigued and in pain is a small price to pay for having fun and happiness with family and friends.! I think nothing of pushing myself to have my 4yr old great nephew for a few days, playing on the park like a big kid myself, then going for walks to feed the ducks etc. I know that once he goes home I can CRASH and crash I do lol.
I have recently started exercising again and finding it really difficult but loving it at the same time, weird huh? I signed up for a charity 5k race for life (cancer research) so have been training for last few weeks, I am up to running 2.5 miles 4 times a week but need to increase it to 3 miles soon. I have to run directly before bedtime because once I stop I can hardly move let alone get up my stairs. I literally flop in the bath then bed (sometimes not even able to dry my hair) but I have a huge sense of achievement, even tho it’s not to the standard I used to train at it’s the new me, and it’s great for the new me.!
Just listened to your happy song, not sure I’ve ever heard it before but it was lovely, actually the sun always manage to make me happy too. Today is a sunny day do I’m going to go for a bike ride before the world wakes lol… It’s also Mother’s Day here in the uk so off out for Chinese meal with my daughter.!
Here’s to lots of happy moments.
Laura
Sorry to hear about the MS dx, I'm sure that WAS hard to take! My best friend has MS, was dxed about a decade ago, but she had not had much energy for years on end. It was finally an eye exam that confirmed her. Her biggest problems are fatigue and eye related, though I realize that could change quickly. She takes a weekly shot and has kept working, she's hoping to make it to retirement in a few years. Please know that I would never 'minimalize' the disease, just wanted you to know that she's pretty well at turning 59 in a few days!