Lyme & Impulsivity?

General
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1

Hey Guys,

So, I managed to get myself in a bit of a pickle yet again, but I am not sure if it's something related/due to the Lyme or if it's just another random issue that I struggle with. I have some trouble periodically with impulsive spending and I managed to blow through over $130 in a period of about 4 days. That was the money I spent out of my debit account...I probably charged another $50 or $60 onto my parent's credit card too. I was wondering if you guys have ever struggled with issues around being impulsive. I know that I received a diagnosis of ADHD (predominately inattentive presentation, severe) on my long formal NeuroCognitive testing, and I'm pretty sure that that diagnosis is due to the deficits that Lyme has caused, but I'm not positive.

I am also not sure of what to do regarding the money I spent and how to tell my parent's what I've done. My parents will put more money into my account on the 15th as I get my budget of money to live off of twice a month, but I am honestly not sure that I will be able to make it till the 15th with the money I have left. There's also the matter of the money I spent that wasn't mine. The only thing going for me is that I haven't had an episode like this in nearly 6 months...maybe even longer, so they know that it isn't my normal pattern to do this. Whether that helps or not, I am not sure.

I do know that I have felt sick from anxiety & guilt for the last several days and I am just waiting anxiously for my Mom to check my account, see how much I've spent, and get chewed out for being so irresponsible. While I am 25 years old, in many ways I feel like a little child and it's very difficult for me to bear my parent's disappointment. I hate how dependent I am on my parent's love, approval, and finances. I hate that I am unable to be independent and unable to continue in school to get a degree that would enable me to get a job and start to become independent. Sorry for yet another long post, I am just not feeling very well and feeling quite vulnerable right now. I really appreciate you guys being there for me.

~Megan~

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Hi Megan,

Thank you for having the courage to share this story with us. I agree with dkel regarding honesty and that if you do not tell your parents the anxiety will only get worse. I know you probably have some guilt and shame, but they may understand more readily if you are forthcoming than if you try and hide the fact you spent their money and wait for them to find out. Perhaps they will change the way you access your funds...or perhaps you could ask them to help you budget better as a way to get a handle on this. If you were diagnosed with ADHD I think it may be helpful if you check out their support group. It is not uncommon for people to overspend a little bit. And yes it could be impulsivity exacerbated by lyme.

I am sorry to hear you aren't feeling well. You are not alone there! All we can do is take one breath at a time and remember that the rough patches will pass. Enjoy every moment you can, Megan.